Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
