the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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