If you die in college, do you die in real life?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
