dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
