I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
