I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Banned from zoo.
Again?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
