I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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