That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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