hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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