wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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