What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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