I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
