Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
