Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize