I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
