it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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