So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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