I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
