dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
