Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I skipped work to stalk him.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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