I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
