I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he quoted the bible to break up with me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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