True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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