Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
