Princesses don't give blow jobs
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
