A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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