I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
