carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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