anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
