there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize