I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize