We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
jump out the window naked night went bad
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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