im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
