just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
