Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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