Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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