Yo dont text me then not text me
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
