i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
