the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
