all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
