I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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