i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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