Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
