Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
