she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
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