Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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