Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize