Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
