We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
