i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize