Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
