This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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