Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
