I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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