We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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