shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize