Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
