Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
