I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
