we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
