How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
