Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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